It’s been a while. Let’s talk about babies for a minute. My mother’s biggest fright about me and women is how much I love babies. Not exactly that, but what that could lead me into at an age where I am not ready financially and baby mama-lly. Plus mother also says she’s not ready. Ready for what? To raise my kids because I told her am not hiring maids.
After several videos of how brutal maids can be with babies, I feel I’ll save on lawyer expenses and prison term by not hiring them. I’d literally murder someone if they ever were brutal to my child. It’s for this reason that my baby’s mama will have to take some time off when the baby is born and where she can’t; [insert superhero music] my mother steps in. I’ll also have to be at a point of my career where I can afford as much time off to be with my little munchkin as I desire.
My mother’s argument has always been that if this obsession doesn’t go away or if I can’t be quiet about it, someone will take advantage. I agree. She’s absolutely right. But a baby is something I want almost as much as I want a Mercedes or BMW soon, only that I want a baby more. However, the Mercedes or BMW must come first. My baby needs to travel in serenity and that is in quiet, seamless German luxury every time we take an outing to spoil him or her but, him!
Thus if someone takes advantage, haaaaa!!! The joke is on her! I’ll have what I want, am not sure if she’ll have what she wants. I treat my women right, I spoil my women, I show off my women (offline not online), I am by a decent standard a good guy; so maybe she’d have struck quite a bargain herself. On that note, I vow to only mess with fine women just in case someone is taking advantage of someone else. I kid. Or not.
I know my mother is simply cautioning me to avoid such a bulky responsibility too early and too unprepared. And I am heedful of her advice.
Mother’s fear and subsequent caution come from a genuine place. I use every chance I get to love and adore babies. Strangers’ babies especially now that there are no babies left in the family or the extended family. Damn, we are old! I am the type to walk up to someone and straight up compliment them on their baby. And it helps a great deal that I am a master of my words so I never come off as creepy or “kidnappy.” Also, I have my way with babies. We instantly get along unless your child is moody or just a mean #@!$^***
From the love and attention I give strangers babies, my sisters and I often wonder how much love my little guy will get. It’ll be like Dj Khalid and Asahd only that I am small, dark and not that rich. Half that rich. A quarter that rich. I am not rich, period! I’ll be by the time the baby comes in 2020; – that’s right, baby mama I hope you are shifting that agenda as you read this. Operation get you knocked up is already on paper.
Mother has nothing to worry about though [For now]. I am extremely careful about my baby goals. Both babies, baby the baby mama and baby the baby. However, the moment that writing pay cheque clears and ink signs that Huffington Post contract, begin counting days because 3 babies will be on the way. My Mercedes, baby mama and the baby.