How do I know all these things? Experience. Which they say is the best teacher, for fools! I am guilty as charged. I have been ranking high on several fools’ lists.
Not too long ago, I met this girl. From day one, we were absolutely on the same page. This was the reason our first few months together were perfect. Dates, movies, sleepovers, hanging out, texting, *exting, phone calls… it was all ‘movie script’ perfect.
Why? We often talked about where we were, where we were from, what we were now, and how comfortable we were with the present situation. I know deep within sometimes we wanted to be in a different place of our ‘situation-ship’ but thankfully we had rock solid factors grounding us to the present situation at every given point.
We were good together, we understood each other, she got on my nerves a lot, a lotttttt but I cared about her too much to ever act on it. We learnt to deal and live with each other and a bond was created. The more time we spent together and did things together, that bond was nurtured into something thicker than a sibling bond. Not to sound creepy at all, I mean ‘sibling bond’ not incestuously but in a ‘we’d do anything for each other’ kind of way.
All this while, we supposedly remained on the same page. Not really! We just weren’t discussing our true feelings. Especially from her. I could tell she wanted to get more, but remember we had rock solid reasons why not.
Things got complicated when I started to more than like her. I loved her and this got unsafe when I realized that I would eventually fall in love with her. My feelings and I are in agreement, things don’t just happen, we foresee and either avoid or brace for impact. In this case, we stalled.
We planted a lot of obstacles to delay the inevitable fall. Fast forward >> I eventually fell but she had closed that chapter of the book. I fell on a different page and this is where things got pretty messed up.
Thinking back at the whole situation, we started off the right way. We talked and ensured that we both expected exactly the same thing from the ‘situation-ship’ in the moment. We stopped being honest with each other when being with someone you like started growing into being with someone you are starting to love.
We feared to ruin a good thing, so we often lied for the others’ comfort. It’s like your car brakes getting loose and instead of trying to stop or jump out, you keep driving hoping to cover more mileage to the destination. You will inevitably crash and die because you are stupid. Stupid? Yeah, stupid, that’s what loving someone does to you. You become a complete pudden-head when it comes to judging your situations.
In the end I lost her, she lost me. Most regrettably for me, I lost her at that point where I had finally realized and accepted that I was in love with her. This didn’t mean sh*t to her, she’d been there way before me and by the time I got there she was tired of waiting. Plus all those page marks I kept planting to stall made her decide I wasn’t worth it.
The lesson here today is, always be on the same page. To save yourself, your time and to avoid reaching a point where the inevitable shipwreck is a regrettable memory. Because like it or not, delay it or fuel it, whenever you are not on the same page, THAT RELATIONSHIP WILL SINK.