“Will you be my girlfriend,” I asked Judith (not real name) and she said “Yes. As long as you continue bringing me cake.” Cake was not a problem, mum often bought cake and it was always available in plenty. So I accepted the condition and Judith became my first girlfriend.
“Hey, they say it’s never the right time, you make the time right. Do you agree with that?” I asked her. And Sharon (not real name) replied, “Yeah, kind of. But why ask such an awkward thing in the middle of a perfect conversation.”
I laughed and replied, “Well, I am often uncertain about a lot of things and my indecisiveness can be quite frustrating but, I love you. I love you and this time I am certain of what I am saying because I am certain of how you make me feel and I am certain of what I want from you.” The conversation that began like that led me to asking her out and she packaged her answer the best way I’ve ever heard or even read about someone receiving a yes.
So was Judith my first love or was it Sharon???
Judith was my first love that’s literal. At that time I was not yet even a teenager but I’ll never forget Judith. I’ll never forget her brown skin color and her humongous birthmark on her left elbow. Judith was the first girl I called my girlfriend. She was the first girl I ever asked out which was after a tip off from her friend that she had said she’d marry me in a game of “who do you want to marry.” This seemed like my perfect opportunity to secure my future and thus the relationship.
Although Judith and I never kissed, only held hands and shared our break time snack, she was my girlfriend. Everyone knew it and I busked in the props of having a very cute girlfriend although I wasn’t sure what exactly made her cute. I never once said I loved her but I knew I did only that I was too young to know what the feeling was called. I don’t even remember or know why we eventually broke up.
Sharon was a different case. I loved Sharon and I knew I did. I had a feeling and I could describe it. I could put it in words and I could show it. I knew Sharon loved me too, I could feel it and I could see it. It wasn’t innocent and uncorrupted like the love with Judith, but it was still love. Only more mature and more sultrily involved.
Now I am torn between my young innocent pure love and my more mature love based on reasonable conditions that society justifies as the right reasons for love.
My dictionary defines love as “Have a great affection or liking for… (Food, someone, a car etc…)”
I had a great liking for both Judith and Sharon but when sincerely asked who my first love was, what the heck do I say???