Breaking News!!! – The Weave Infestation

The rate of unemployment of individuals trained in hair styling is alarmingly on the increase.

On the streets of Kampala, I see weaves of all colors and designs. Hair saloon owners have resorted to hiring architects and painters instead as they are the only professionals equipped with the skills to handle the clients outrageous demands. At least that’s what all these ridiculous weave colors and designs indicate. 

That weave seated on your head got you looking like a mobile green house. That goes for the girls that like to be adventuresome with their weave colors. For the sake of nature, quit competing with the rainbow. No wonder, i hardly see it these days, you girls have given it competition it cannot match. It is shamefully hiding its failure to compete in the far unseen darker part of the horizon.

A peacock has been inequitably stripped of its pride as the living thing that walks around with too many beautiful colors. Okay, maybe not. The colors of these weaves would have to be beautiful for that to happen. Peacock, you survive. But not for long. As soon as these girls figure out how to make them attractive, they are coming back for you.

Black, yellow, red in your hair!? Who are you fooling? You are not that patriotic. You were definitely not inspired by the colors of our Uganda national flag, no! You are just a confused hair color enthusiast.

What’s my point here? Weaves are great, they make you look a whole lot better. However the kindness of the Brazilian women is being taken for granted. All these hideous colors I see in people’s weaves have got to stop. They limit your choice of colors for your outfits. A lime green weave no matter the outfit will leave you walking around like a clown trying to make its way to a kid’s birthday party.

Please stop walking around looking like the rainbow finally came out of hiding, saw you and threw up on you in disgust after seeing what that multi-colored weave has turned you into.

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