Ladies Please!

Ladies please!

Recently on my facebook, two girls uploaded and shared a photo they took. Honestly and to be fair to you, you do not want to know what was running through my mind when I saw it. But I’ll go ahead and say it anyway (freedom of speech).

My first true human artistic instincts were drop your phone and run …”run, run away Paulo and never return” my instincts spoke to me in Lion King’s Uncle Scar’s voice… And as much as it would have been the wise thing to do, i didn’t, i braved the situation. Now these two girls were everything that was wrong with the picture. First of all they looked pale, “Like jumped out of a chlorine overdosed swimming pool and decided to dry off and take a picture” pale. It’d be an insult to all ghosts out their if anyone said or even thought of thinking that they were as pale as a ghost. That’s a downright remorseless insult to the ghosts. And i urge you to repent if you did. They made ghosts seem like they are required to smear their bodies with cooking oil (not pale at all) before making an appearance. Yes they were that pale.

Moving on, that was not even the worst case with the picture. From the look on their faces, if i’d been asked to caption the picture “ACTUAL HUNGER GAMES” is what i was going for. They looked hungry in the “40 days and 40 nights in a desert with no food and water” kind of hungry. Which realistically you’d be dead but now but let’s say they had survived. In your mental picture you can already paint a pale actual hunger games face. I know, keep it to yourself, and please do not describe it to anyone near you. It’s bad enough you have somehow managed to picture it.

Do not even get me started with the pose. That sort of pose should be slammed with “anti” tabled and passed as a bill. It should be banned from the public eye and am not saying that because it was obscene. No. It was very decent, just that it was as wrong as an F of 0%. Yes we get it it’s a selfie. Fine. But that does not give you the right to dishonour all selfies around the world. You poke your tongue out and make you eyes as if you are looking at the ” you missed a spot on your tongue when you were brushing this morning”.

Weird wait!, Super weird huh? From the little description by which i spared you a lot of details you can already see the optical torture our eyes were wrongfully subjected to.

This story brings me to a few pointers; ladies if ever you take a picture and you feel the need to blog it, tweet it or share it on any other social media, after taking that picture put that whore’s / bitch’s / slut’s (the girl you hate or despise the most) face on it (mentally) and if you’d envy her in that pose and background and outfit and smile and beauty in the picture you’ve taken, upload and share it. If not, delete it and if possible format your memory card just to be sure it’s gone forever. Ladies please!

The fellows we hardly take pictures so we good.


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